If we were all honest with each other, we’d admit that most times it is easier to pretend that nothing’s wrong. If we don’t talk about “it” – we don’t really have to face “it”. And if we don’t face “it” – we don’t have to deal with “it”. And if we don’t deal with “it”“it” won’t bother us. Right?


“IT” is still there. We’re just trying to protect ourselves because “it” hurts. Trouble is, “it” still hurts whether we pretend to ignore “it” or not. And when your friend has CANCER, it is easy not to deal with “it”.

“But I don’t want to make my friend feel bad by talking about ‘it’.”

You are trying to be a good friend. But you know what? Your friend might want to talk and not be left alone……… with the elephant.

The Elephant In The Room

There’s an elephant in the room. It is large and squatting, so it is hard to get around it. Yet we squeeze by with “How are you?” and “I am fine”… And a thousand other forms of trivial chatter. We talk about the weather. We talk about school. We talk about everything else—except the elephant in the room.

There’s an elephant in the room. We all know it is there. We are thinking about the elephant as we talk together. It is constantly on our minds. For you see, it is a very big elephant. But we do not talk about the elephant in the room.

Oh, please let’s talk about the elephant in the room. If we talk about the fact that I might die Perhaps we can talk about how I am living. Can’t we talk about the elephant without you looking away?

For if we cannot, then you are leaving me Alone…in a room…with an elephant.

Adapted from the poem “The Elephant in the Room” by Terry Kettering