13thirty Threads: The Diagnosis

The Diagnosis – Vicki Ties It Together

You have cancer…and, just like that, you are instantly part of a “club” that you would have never signed up for if given the choice. Your life is changed in an instant. 

I remember the day like it was yesterday. It felt as though I was under water. The surrealness of the moment, washing over me like a thousand waves. How can this be? Why me? 

Reflecting on the months and years that followed, I realize that there were many instances where I could/would not process my feelings. All of the fear, guilt, and anxiety seemed to have become a part of me. That said, it soon became abundantly clear that though the negative feelings and emotions were valid, they did not define me.

Am I going to die?
How is this going to affect my family, my spouse, and my friends?
Will the next scan show no evidence of disease or progression?

Sometimes the feelings came slowly, other times they came in rapid succession. There were moments when I felt strong and confident, looking forward to the future. Then, there were the moments that took my breath away. I think we can all agree that sometimes, you just need to cry. You need to sit in that uncomfortable space and simply be. My advice for you is to allow yourself some grace. No self-judgment, only love. 

As isolating as a cancer diagnosis can make you feel, you need to know that you are not alone. Consider yourself as a captain. Your family, friends, co-workers, physicians, nurses, and the people you meet along the way, are your team. They are there to cheer you on, to help you rally through, and to support you even in the darkest of days. Stay strong and stay optimistic. You, my friend, are a cancer THRIVER!!

Peace, love, and light. 
Vicki